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With the first round of the Pounds Off Playoff in the books, it’s time to say goodbye to the plans that won’t be back until that awkward “after” show with Jeff Probst. I lost 37.9 pounds on the eight plans that have advanced, but most of the eliminated plans dragged me backward.
Here’s a final farewell to each plan, in order of weight loss, and set to Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. (right click/open in new tab to hear while reading)
You just slip out the back...
No Whites (-1.0 pounds in two weeks)
I’d recommend this one, even though it’s been eliminated. As the old saying goes, “The whiter the bread, the sooner you’ll be dead.” (source: Pollan)
Make a new plan...
No Eating Out (-0.7)
Good idea: cutting back on restaurant food.
Bad idea: a diet plan where you can eat anything, anytime, just not anywhere.
You don’t need to be coy...
Portion Tricks (-0.2)
It’s gonna take more than small plates to get me a small belly.
Just get yourself free...
Hunger Scale (+0.4)
OK, I’ve rated my hunger. Can I eat now?
Hop on the bus...
Write it Down (+1.0)
I read the single best weight loss technique is to write down everything you eat, because you wouldn’t want to put that you ate “that” in writing. And it worked for a few days, until I figured out that nobody read my log.
You don’t need to discuss much...
Plate in Quarters (+1.8)
Eat as much as you want, as long as it’s in balance. Why didn’t that work, exactly?
Just drop off the key...
Sodium Limit (+3.7)
A plan dependent on healthy restaurant food. Why didn’t that work, exactly? (Oh, because I couldn’t find any, so I pretty much gave up and ate whatever?)
And get yourself free...
9 Fruits and Vegetables (+4.1)
This is what we scientists* call a good theory. Eat so much good food that you couldn’t possibly want anything else. But in practice... “Mmm, those oranges filled me up. Wait, are those nachos?”
* I’m not a scientist, but I play one on my blog.
The next 28 weeks will be devoted to the eight remaining plans:
2500 Calories per Day (-9.0**)
1800 Calories per Day (-6.2)
Three Strikes (-5.2)
No Junk Food (-4.9)
No Processed Food (-3.9)
No TV/Reading (-3.2)
What Would Granny Do? (-2.8)
8:00 Curfew (-2.7)
**Six pounds came off the very first week of the P.O.P., probably a lot of water weight.